Ode to the Schrode

Photo Copyright Kristen Deem Photography.

Over the past two months, I have been thinking about what a blessing our sweet dog has been to both me and Chris. In grieving for Chris, I have found such comfort in our dog. His history is rich with the story of our love, both as a couple and a family.

In April 2012, the weekend Chris and I got engaged, we decided it was time to get a dog. The summer prior we had discussed the idea, but wanted to wait until after Chris’ deployment to Afghanistan to adopt a dog of our own. Like the loving (and nerdy) man he was, Chris wanted to be there to help nurture and train our dog. 

As we drove back from Destin, we explored the possibility of stopping at a shelter en route to Valdosta, but few shelters were open that day. In true Stover family fashion, we decided that day was not the day we were meant to get a dog and that we would continue to look after we got home. We did, however, decide on the potential names for our dog, choosing both a female and male option.

Chris wanted to name our dog something smart, that way s/he could live up to the name. Of course, for Chris, naming the dog something smart meant we had to name our dog after a scientist. Names like Newton, Einstein and Copernicus were thrown out as possibilities (none of which had a great shorter nickname). We both felt that Tesla would make an excellent name for a female dog, but felt a little stumped as to what we would call a male dog. As I was driving (and staring at my new engagement ring), I thought back to an earlier trip we had made to the beach where Chris and I got into a philosophical “conversation” (read: argument) over the concept of Schrodinger’s Cat. I became a little overzealous during that conversation, thanks in part to Chris egging me on. Since we already had a cat, I told Chris that we should name the dog Schrodinger. That way, Izzie (or Killer as Chris liked to call her) would be Schrodinger’s cat. We could call him Schrodie for short. 

Adoption day.

Two weeks later, the morning of Chris’ joint promotion party with five friends, we found ourselves headed to the Lowndes County Animal Shelter interested in checking out a female blue heeler mix. When we arrived at the shelter, they told us that she was at Pet Smart that day for doggie adoption. Chris suggested that we take a look at the dogs at the shelter, especially before driving across town to the store. I walked into the first room and fell in love. A sweet little puppy with a chunk missing from his ear (the shelter had named him Niblet). Without hesitation, I told Chris this was the dog I wanted.

Of course, Chris was a little more discerning and wanted to see how the dog would play and run. One of the volunteers helped us take him outside so he could frolic around the yard, following Chris. Watching our dog chase after Chris for the first time is a precious memory I will cherish. They both looked so happy. A sign of many blissful runs to come. Chris was sold too. 

We adopted our sweet little Schrodinger on a Saturday morning, but had to wait to bring him home until Monday afternoon. After cooking some sausage and biscuits (hangover breakfast for Chris), and cleaning up from the party, we went to Pet Smart to stock up on dog supplies like the crazy pet owners we had already become. 

That Monday morning, as I was driving to work, I remember thinking about how scared I was to have a dog. While I was genuinely excited to share this adventure with Chris, I was nervous about being a good dog parent. I was scared of being too selfish. Picking him up from the vet later that day, I realized that my love for Schrodie was bigger than my fear and we embarked on one of our best missions, raising Schrodie.

Chris truly loved the challenge of teaching Schrodie new tricks. Figuring out how to use Schrodie’s understanding of “language” was a problem Chris was eager to solve. Many of Schrodie’s first commands are in rough Dutch (I am pretty sure none of the words we use are imperatives, just the rough noun translation). While Chris was in Afghanistan, he got to see some of the military dogs at work. He wrote to me after the demonstration to tell me he wanted our future dog to “speak” Dutch. He was learning Dutch thanks to Rosetta Stone and wanted the dog to respond to our commands. How could I say no? I didn’t even know how to in Dutch.

My boys, morning snuggle.

We agreed, as doggie parents, that we would love Schrodie but that we would not let him become the center of our relationship. While we prioritized our couple-hood, we found that we expanded our love by bringing Schrodie into our family. We went for more family walks after bringing Schrodie home. There were many evenings where we would walk Schrodie around the neighborhood hand in hand, talking about our day. After Chris’ deployment to Italy, Schrodie was finally permitted to sleep in the bed with both of us, which allowed for great night time snuggles. My only rule, Schrodie couldn’t sleep between Chris and I… that was our snuggle time too.

Chris was more patient running with me and Schrodie. Especially once we moved to England, we went for plenty of family runs through the woods, enjoying the beautiful scenery. Schrodie and Chris would let me run ahead, and then sprint to catch up… just to make things more interesting since they were much faster. Schrodie never leaves a man behind, so running too far ahead of me was never an option. Still, when they managed to run ahead of me, I loved watching the two of them run together, Schrodie casting adoring glances at his dad as they ran down a trail. I literally thanked God for those moments.

Schrodie and Izzie on the train from Norwich to Bury.

Taking Schrodinger and his cat overseas proved to be an adventure for all of us. Instead of shipping our pets separately, we opted to travel with them on an epic journey through four countries. The Stover pets endured driving from Georgia up to Michigan, then from Michigan to Maryland. They flew from the US to Germany on a rotator with us, spending two nights acclimating to the new time zone at Ramstein. They traveled with us from Germany, by train, up to Hoek van Holland, where we were stranded for an extra night thanks to a deworming treatment. Izzie got her first taste of the beach as we waited for our ferry the next day. From the Netherlands, we all took a ship overnight to England, where more trains took us to our final stop at Bury St. Edmunds. Chris and I managed to pack basic necessities in two camping packs so we could be hands free to wrangle a dog on leash and carry the cat in a small duffle carrier. Our lack of warm clothes made our arrival a little more interesting as we tried to wait out the arrival of our luggage. But, we had the most important things with us, our pets (our family). 

Raising Schrodie has not come without issues. We adopted Schrodie when he was between 4 and 5 months old, with an obvious scar (his ear) that we were unsure how he obtained. Taking him to the dog park for the first time, while Chris was TDY, illustrated that Schrodie did not have the best social skills, to say the least. We realized quickly that our dog has some special needs in learning how to get along with other dogs. It has been a slow road, with breakthroughs and setbacks. He has made some good dog friends along the way, but has also upset a few sweet dogs in his time. He is also incredibly stubborn on leash, and still pulls quite frequently. While in England, we enrolled the family in training classes to work on his challenges. Sadly, those lessons were cut short. 

Schrodie with his fellow rescue pals Neptune and Tally.

Over the holidays, after we started training classes, Chris and I had a great conversation about Schrodie that I treasure. I told him that I was grateful Schrodie presented us with some challenges, because it illustrates our capacity to love in spite of difficulty. I told him that I did not think Schrodie would ever be the sort of dog that we could take to the dog park without concern, but that we could continue to help him improve his doggie skills as best we could. Chris, ever the optimist, believed that Schrodie could be a social dog as long as we kept up our training. We talked about the importance of having realistic expectations while trying to give Schrodie our best. It was the sort of conversation that lent itself to thinking about what kind of parents we wanted to be.

Chris was laughing so hard the night we took this that he was crying.

 What Schrodie taught both of us was the value of unconditional love. His adoration is the most humbling love. Even when we haven’t deserved it. Where I once worried about how owning a dog would change our lifestyle, I knew within the first few weeks that Schrodie’s love outweighed any changes we had to make. Yes, going away for a weekend or short trip required more planning than before, but the planning was worth it. And while we enjoyed our little vacations away, we would spend every night talking about how much we missed our puppy and how we couldn’t wait to get back to him. Even over our wedding weekend.

Schrodie on the main square in Brugges, looking regal.

 The best vacations were the ones where Schrodie came along. One of our favorite vacations was taking him to Brugges. Chris even took him out for a beer (he is underage and didn’t drink). 

One of the things I miss the most is watching Schrodie’s joy as Chris would come home from work. In England, Schrodie knew the sound of Chris’ car and would excitedly wait at the back door for Chris to come in. Schrodie would look like he was going to explode with happiness, but would manage to sit patiently until Chris entered the house. Then came the doggie smiles. Chris would say “show me your teeth” as Schrodie grinned with excitement and greeted him with kisses. I wish I could give Schrodie that joy back every day.

 Apart from grieving for Schrodie’s loss, he brings such immense joy on the days I need it most. He greets me every morning with such excitement, it is difficult not to feel some happiness. He gets me out of bed, and helps me start the day. His loving nature and sweet brown eyes remind me of Chris. In that way, I feel like I have a part of Chris with me in Schrodie. My love for him is filled with memories of Chris and that helps to keep me going. He is also the best cuddle buddy a lonely girl could ask for. 

While I know he will never understand what has happened, I know that Schrodie looks for Chris in his own way. I feel myself doing the same, even though I know he isn’t coming back. Without Chris, Schrodie doesn’t want to run with me like he used to. I don’t know how to help him change that. Schrodie loved family time the most. Even though Schrodie was able to say goodbye in England, and give his dad a wave, I think we will always look for him in some way. Perhaps Schrodie understands better than I that death is not truly the end.